Accessing the ‘Upstairs Brain’ While in Crisis: Nicole’s Story
“It’s hard in the moment to come up with these beautifully scripted phrases and plans when you are in crisis …You’re emotional, you’re not accessing your ‘upstairs’ brain, and you have limited bandwidth.”
Parents to eight-year-old twins, Nicole and her spouse struggled to figure out next steps after a series of instances at school made them question whether the right behavior supports were in place. With FACT Oregon’s help, her family is now on a path to getting her children what they need to access their education and thrive.
Setting the Stage:
Last spring, the twins were on 504 plans, and their daughter was being evaluated for an IEP. According to Nicole, accommodations for both children were inconsistently implemented. Their daughter required de-escalation support, but teachers were reluctant to allow visits to a quiet space. Other teachers simply didn’t know about the 504 plans. Without a quiet space to regulate, Nicole’s daughter developed severe panic attacks. Nicole’s son, witnessing his sister’s distress, also began having similar troubles at school.
Nicole and her spouse pulled both kids out for the last few weeks of the school year to focus on mental health and emotional healing. Over the summer, they also received results from a private evaluation that confirmed a diagnosis for their daughter.
As the new school year approached, Nicole was unsure about her rights and options for her kids, including possibly homeschooling. She contacted FACT Oregon.
A New Trajectory
That conversation marked a turning point in the family’s advocacy. Heather helped Nicole understand that her children were entitled to a public education, and she felt renewed energy to pursue special education eligibility for both kids. With FACT Oregon’s support, Nicole filed an assessment request for her son, asked for an eligibility status update for her daughter, and provided the outside evaluation. The district accepted her daughter’s outside evaluation and began to create the IEP documentation. Nicole and her spouse also created one-page profiles to share with teachers, including information on what works for them.
“It made me feel really good as a parent to make those profiles - it was great to put what I know about my kids into writing, “ says Nicole.
Their son continued to struggle as everyone awaited his eligibility assessment. Nicole received many phone calls about her son’s behavior, but while the assessment was in progress, the team asked her to wait to meet.
Nicole again reached out to FACT Oregon for support. Whitnie validated her concerns, provided resources on behavior, and linked Nicole to the district’s Community Resource Specialist to provide support and encouragement at meetings.
Nicole shares how hard it can be as a parent to calmly articulate needs while you’re emotionally escalated:
“It’s hard in the moment to come up with these beautifully scripted phrases and plans when you are in crisis …You’re emotional, you’re not accessing your ‘upstairs’ brain, and you have limited bandwidth,” she says.
“Just to receive that validation [from Whitnie], that affirming of parenting neurodivergent kids, I’m so grateful.”
Image of two young children as a representation of the twins in this story.
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〰️ Support Families Like Nicole's! 〰️ Make a Year-End Gift Today!
What We Can Learn from Nicole:
Advocating for our kids is a very emotional business. Having a community of people around us to offer information, support, and resources can make the difference between feeling overwhelmed and feeling energized and affirmed.
FACT Oregon’s support is empowering Nicole to access her ‘upstairs brain’ and bring what she knows about her kids to decision-making tables.