Meet The Staff: Britania Vazquez-Elorza

“Surrounded by other parents going through similar things, I realized for the first time that disability is a natural thing, and that once we’ve embraced and accepted it, we can all have a beautiful journey. Not always an easy journey. But a journey to a real destination.”

My journey navigating disability with my son Martin started when he was very small. He was not meeting developmental milestones, including speech targets. It took me 2 years of fighting for a referral from his pediatrician and going through the evaluation process before we finally received his “official” diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder. What initially felt like vindication and victory was short lived, though. Having my suspicions confirmed suddenly riddled me with fears and questions.

How could this happen?

How can I help my son?

Will he ever talk?

Is he going to be independent?

I fell into a rabbit hole of constant worry and guilt. I spent nights googling for support groups, services besides early intervention, information about preschools, and anything to help me support my son at home. To be honest, I was walking this parenting path alone, and no one was helping me navigate this new world that I and my son suddenly seemed to became part of. Yes, I have my family. But I am the first one in my traditional Mexican family to have a child experiencing disability. My family was having a hard time accepting that our sweet Martin was autistic. It’s still something that they can’t fully comprehend. Like many families in our community, they fear the unknown and have a hard time coming out of their comfort zone. Until Martin, all they knew about autism was what they saw on TV – and that was full of stigma. Like many in the Latino/Hispanic community, they believe that if someone has a disability, they can’t have a whole, full life. They believe people with disabilities, especially if they don’t use verbal speech, will need constant care taking, will never have a voice, can’t graduate from school, can’t get a job, etc. Being around that, it was hard to believe anything else myself at first.

But what my family fails to see is that children like Martin are so much more than their disability. Martin is a five-year-old with autism. AND he is a child who knows all his animals and loves learning about them at zoos and aquariums. He is a child who does puzzles, swims in the pool, swings in his hammock, and looks at books. He LOVES birthday parties and any reason to celebrate. And he’s resilient and determined. Currently, he is working hard to learn to use his new AAC device to communicate wants and needs. My favorite thing about my son – the thing I lean into the most – is this resilience. Martin takes on new challenges every day. And even though he may hit some bumps or detours on the road, I now believe his resilience and determination will help him get to his destination.

My new mindset came to be through participating in FACT Oregon’s Activate Your Advocacy Parent Leadership training. I heard about this opportunity through Facebook when a mom from a parent group I was in posted about it. My son’s first IEP meeting to prepare for the transition to kindergarten was coming up, and I wanted to be prepared. So I applied.

During those six weeks of training, I came to realize how little I had known about disability rights, laws, special education, intersectionality, ableism and more. It was here that I learned about self-determination and a WHOLE LIFE! Surrounded by other parents going through similar things, I realized for the first time that disability is a natural thing, and that once we’ve embraced and accepted it, we can all have a beautiful journey. Not always an easy journey. But a journey to a real destination.

Britania Vazquez-Elorza, Bilingual Program Specialist

Britania and her son Martin.

My ah-ha moment came in reflecting on how my son had already been discriminated against in his short life – the countless times we faced ableism, even within my own family. I recognized that Martin’s trajectory was being set without my involvement and input. But how was I supposed to know? I didn’t get a how-to manual or any resources about special education or any soft handoff to an organization like FACT Oregon.

Too many parents from similar backgrounds as mine have had this same experience. Few know how to locate resources on their own, and many are hesitant to ask for help because of systemic racism. As a first-generation Mexican-American, I’ve known many monolingual parents in my community struggle to access services, resources, or any type of assistance, especially if they have a child who experiences disability. These parents are more likely to be TOLD what needs to happen with their child, instead of being CONSIDERED AS PARTNERS in decisions. Not only parents, but also their children, are left out of decisions that impact them the most.

This new clarity enraged and saddened me, but it also sparked my determination to work for change – for my son and for my Hispanic/Latinx community. When a position opened up at FACT Oregon for a Bilingual Program Specialist, I quickly applied. In that role, I strive to help families like mine: those who have language barriers, are low-income, or are historically excluded. Hopefully, while I help these families access and navigate services, I can also change how they perceive disability. I want them to see their children as capable. I want them to see that they deserve to live a whole life and don’t need to be secluded or hidden away. And I want them to know that there is support out there – within their natural community, from other families, from schools, and through organizations like FACT Oregon.

Just last year, I was grieving for my child and his diagnosis. Then, I was sad for myself and what I thought MY life would look like. But what my son really cares about is being happy! And I want that for him. Now, with the tools I have and a newfound community where I and my son are SEEN, I will do whatever I can to help him and all kids achieve this happiness. I can make sure he’s included, creates relationships, is part of his community, learns and grows, and participates in school and activities. Most of all, I want him to know that his thoughts and opinions about his life are what matter and what will help him lead a WHOLE LIFE.

During my training with FACT Oregon, I was struck by a particular question, and it’s stuck with me. “As a parent, do you want to be a leaf blowing wherever the wind determines it will go OR do you want to be the rock climber who determines their own path to get on top?”  In this moment, I and my son chose to be rock climbers. Which will you be?